Cyber - Love
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I am not anti-human but I like this world
to be ruled by machines than by bloody corrupt politicians. Machines are not greedy
and they don’t kill their brothers for money and power. They don’t feel and
they don’t love but they don’t even take advantage of somebody’s feelings nor
do they betray in love. Of all machines, I love computers the most. Computers
are reliable, they always follow their programming. As opposed to people, when
computers tell you something, it doesn’t really hide what it means. This love
for computers had turned me into a loner. However, I was gladder when my lonesomeness
was removed by some beautiful human. I was 22 and still single. I was searching
someone as perfect as computers but I wasn’t very good in making friends. The
only thing I knew was to run a computer and if the computers hadn’t been
invented, I would have been still single (courtesy to Charles Babbage).
It all started when I was randomly
searching some online chatting sites. I came across one at 11 pm in night where
I could chat with strangers without revealing my identity. The only thing I
didn’t know in first hand was 95% of people who visited the site were losers in
real life and were just looking for cyber-sex and 5% of the rest which included
me were either the first time users or ignorant of the beauty of the site. I
entered the site and a message popped up:
Stranger: Hi… :-)
Me: Hello. ;-)
Stranger: ASL?
Me: 22, Male, India.
Stranger: Cool.. :-)
Me: wbu?
Stranger: 20/f/NYC
Me: A city that never sleeps.. Great..
U gotta name?
Strangers: Nope, I’ve been anonymous
for 20 years of my life. Just kidding. I
am Holly. What’s urs?
“Wait, I don’t even know if the person
on other end is a female as this is not a video chat and Holly may not be her
real name too. Even I am not gonna give my real identities.” I thought.
Me: I am Benaam. LOL so, what do u do?
Stranger: What took u so long to
answer? BTW Benaam is a nice name. Do u have any last name?
Me: Of course. I do have a last name,
its Badshah. What’s urs?
Stranger: It’s Simpson. I like u
Benaam Badshah but this conversation is going boring. Tell me, are u horny? :-X
Me: Depends. :-)
Stranger: If it depends upon my size,
u can turn ur webcam on and see me naked. LOL
Me: Are u lying naked while talking to
me? It’s insane. :-(
Stranger: You become insane when u
want sex. Show me something bad. Drive me to hell. :-*
Me: You need to shut down ur PC, find
someone in the street and have a great day. Bye.
I disconnected. My next few
conversations went similar to this until I met my destiny. It began something
like this:
Stranger: Are u Indian?
Me: Yes, I am but why do u ask? Are
you racist?
Stranger: I am not racist. Actually, I
am using this website for the first time. My friend told me about this and what
she didn’t tell was that only losers come here for sex. Tell me, what brings
you to this website? Are you looking for sex too? If u do, u should disconnect
right now.
Me: I am not looking for sex here. I
am just some computer geek and a loner. I was looking for some friends on the
internet when I randomly came across this website.
Stranger: Good to know it earlier.
Me: I guess you are an Indian Girl.
How old are you?
Stranger: You don’t ask age to an
Indian girl. Enough to know I am single and looking for some nice friend.
Me: But I can definitely ask her name
and what she does?
Stranger: Sure. I am Radhika Verma and I am in
my final year of my graduation.
“Thanks God, you gave little brain to
girls. These girls won’t tell you their age but they will definitely tell you
everything through which you can give a sure guess. If I am not mistaken she must
absolutely be around 20-22 and hence a great match for me” I thought.
Me: Even I am in my final years of my
Engineering. So what are you graduating in?
Stranger: I am doing B.Com and what
about you? What’s your name and where are you graduating from?
“Jesus! Not this name thing again. I
don’t even know if she is telling everything true. Should I use my alias or
should I tell her real name?” I was not able to figure all the pros and cons in
that short time. I don’t know why but still I decided to be true to her.
Me: I am Suraj Kashyap and I am
presently in Bangalore. Where are you from?
Stranger: I live in Pune. Have you
ever been here?
Me: I haven’t but I will if I ever get
an invitation from Ms. Radhika Verma.
Stranger: Let’s see when you have such
a pleasure. Anyway, what are your hobbies? Do you have any girlfriend?
Me: Girlfriend? You should ask about
Girlfriends. One girlfriend makes your life empty and hell. I give different time
to different beautiful ladies. I work on shifts. Single ladies, Just-single
ladies, sad and lonely ladies, homeless ladies, divorced ladies and every other
interested lady comes to Suraj Kashyap. I kinda do social services a lot.
Stranger: Perhaps I was wasting my
time till now on a wrong guy. Gotta go. Bye.
Me: Wait. I don’t even have a friend,
from where will I get a GF? I am just a nerd whose only friend is a computer. I
spend my whole day and night on my laptop and internet. I eat with them, I
sleep with them. I swear to God I was just kidding. You are my first good
friend.
Stranger: Okay. But I really gotta go.
I have some unfinished work to do.
Me: But we are gonna talk later,
right? May I have your email?
Stranger: I don’t give my ids to
strangers and I don’t think I should talk to you again.
Me: You can judge me as you wish but I
swear on every living creature on earth that I was just kidding. If you ever
feel you should contact me, mail me at: anytime.suraj.kashyap@gmail.com
Stranger: I will see what I can do.
Bye.
And thus she disconnected. I don’t
understand the frequency of feminine mood swings. For one moment she was
friendly as a best friend and in the next do-i-know-you? One of the
disadvantages of small brain, these girls don’t even understand little jokes. I
didn’t have her email id or phone number. All I could do was wait and fucking
wait.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
She didn’t contact me again. Not at least for next 2 months, 13 days, 5 hours
and 3.2 seconds (yes you keep track of seconds when you truly fall in love for
first time). And one day like a bolt from the blue I had got a mail from verma.radhika90@gmail.com. That was
the luckiest day of my life. It said:
“Hi Suraj,
I know it’s quite late but I had never
forgotten you. I was just not able to judge you from 20 mins of our chat. At
first you seemed nice but later those things just freaked me. I agree those
things may not be true but I felt bad because you even gave a thought to it. I
don’t know if you still remember me but if you do, please reply. I would really
like to know you and make you my friend.
Radhika”
I didn’t waste a second to reply:
“Hey Radhika,
I respect your feelings but it
requires a hell lot of patience to wait 2 months, 13 days, 5 hours and 3.2
seconds. You talk of remembering, when the heck did I forget you? Not a second
passed when I didn’t think of you. I didn’t even have your email, I could only
wait and I waited a long. All these days I was just trying to picture how do
you look? I have different pictures of yours in my mind but I am not sure if
any of those actually resembles you. I really missed you. Even I would like you
to be my only friend.
Suraj”
So our conversation had begun again
after a long pause and this time it didn’t stop but went on more and more. At first we exchanged one mail per two or
three days, then it was increased to one mail a day, then two mails a day and
the frequency kept on increasing. We moved to chats from e-mails in a month and
in next two months I got her phone number. Things were moving really fast. We
didn’t have no track of time. After I got her phone number, mails and chats
seemed traditional and formal. I didn’t dare to call her the moment I got her
number. Maybe I was being a douche or maybe I had a phobia of “what if her
voice is not as sweet as I have imagined”. Even she never called me, I don’t
know why she didn’t but I am sure she had no phobia like me. So I was stuck on
sending texts for next two months. Very slowly I began to become obsessed with
her. Every moment I waited for her text message.
I don’t know how great people have
defined love but I can guarantee I was definitely not in love. It was only that
I kept on thinking about her 24 hrs and 7 days in a month, I used to imagine
her with me all the time, I became restless when she couldn’t text me for an
hour, I drew imaginary face of her in my mind and I was dying to see and hear
her in real life. Okay, you may say I
was in love but I really didn’t know what was happening to me. I was getting
out of my programming and I was falling in love (yes, its affirmative now that
I was in love). My coding and algorithms were falling apart and I was getting
bound to human emotions. In fact I had become a human from a machine. In those
five months I had learnt to smile. I knew I couldn’t see her instantly but I
had no more patience to live without hearing her. I decided to call her. I
called her but her phone kept ringing and ringing and she never picked it up. I
didn’t give up and called again but in vain. I was feeling chocked when my
phone beeped. There was a text saying,
“I am sorry; I can’t talk to you all
the time. I live with my parents. I will text you when I am free.”
I was relieved. I texted back,
“For a moment, my heart stopped
beating. You can’t imagine how I felt. Anyway I am dying to hear you, talk to
me as soon as you can.”
“I sure will. Bye.”
“I miss you. Bye.”
I had to wait two days to hear her voice.
God, it was beautiful and not as frightening as my phobia. Then talking became
a regular habit and I was getting more and more close to her. We shared everything
of our daily routine. Everything was going great.
The next month her birthday was coming
up and I wanted to give her the best gift she could expect from me. I wanted to
go and visit her in Pune. I talked to her about this and she was as desperate
to meet me as I was. But visiting her in Pune wasn’t the gift I had planned. I wanted
the real gift to be total surprise for her. I had decided to propose her on her
birthday. Every day of next month passed like eternity. I had my tickets ready,
I had to board the train in evening of 21st June and I was to reach
there on 22nd morning. Rest of my days went in planning and working
out, after all I had to look best on her first sight.
After waiting for too long, the most
awaited day of my life had finally arrived. I still remember that train was
taking like forever to reach Pune. I tried to sleep in night but I could not
close my eyes for a single second. After going through a lot of struggle, the
following morning finally brought my destination. I booked a room in hotel
which was not very far from the restaurant I was going to meet her. I had given
my best shot to look the most amazing person in this world. I tried to call her
but her phone was unreachable that morning. When it became beyond my control to
wait more, I decided to leave for the restaurant two hours before the planned
time. I reached there half an hour later. The restaurant was not very crowded;
I seated myself in one of its corner. I ordered some light food to pass another
one and half hour of the time. I finished my food in half an hour and I had no
idea how to spend another hour. I was calling her again to make sure her phone
was back in coverage area when some strange male voice called me from behind:
“You are Suraj Kashyap, right?”
“Yes, I am but do I know you?” I was
surprised to see some unfamiliar face in an unfamiliar city who claimed to know
me.
“No, you don’t but I know you well
enough. I am Sourabh Bhardwaj. Dude, you are waiting for wrong girl here. She
is not gonna come.”
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to
react. A thousand questions were arising in my mind and I had answers to none.
I didn’t even notice him seating next to me. I started kind of freaking out.
“But who are you? How do you know me?
How did you know I was waiting for some girl here? Do you know that girl? Is
she your friend? How can you say she is not gonna come? Why don’t you say
everything clearly?”
“Stop freaking out, buddy. You will very
soon get everything in your mind. I assure you this is not going to be a good
day for you.”
“You answered none of my questions.
When are you gonna do that?”
“I am a victim, bro. Victim of this
crazy stupid love. You and I are both alike. Both of us are running for love which
we are never gonna get. Love already fucked me and very soon it’s gonna fuck
you too. You were a real asshole to travel half the country looking for love
which does not exist. You are waiting for Radhika here and Radhika must be
waiting for you somewhere else. You know what, nobody is gonna meet no one.”
“Is this all you have to say? I don’t
understand a word you are talking about. Why don’t you stop making riddles and
come directly on point?”
“The point is, I loved Radhika but she
refused me. So I set up a trap in vengeance. I made Radhika fall in love with
you. I am the creator of your love. But making this love story successful was
never the part of my plan. You were always a victim that I chose.”
“And how can that be possible? I loved
Radhika and she loved me too. We were going to meet today as planned. Then how
the hell you came in between today and start narrating your fucking plan?”
“You gotta be patient, man, if you
fucking want to hear the whole goddamn story.”
“Okay, I am not speaking a word until
you finish up. Now go on.” I was highly puzzled, I couldn’t be patient and I
wanted to yell because I had my girl waiting for me somewhere else in the world
which I knew not of. But still I promised myself to be lull until he finished
his story.
“You asked, ‘how the hell I came in
between your whole perfect love story, right?’ The truth is I never did because
I was here right from the beginning and it was you whom I chose to be in
between to take the goddamn revenge. It all started when I had entered into ILS
(Indian Law Society) Law College with her. I fell in love the very first day I
saw her. I used to watch her everyday but never dared to express my love. The
day I didn’t see her wasn’t a day at all. I kept my love hiding from her for a
year and a half. All those days were crazy and filled with pain and guess what
happened when I dared to propose her after 18 months? She turned me down like a
trash. This is not a country for love, man. Nobody respects love in this
country. I approached her again and again for next one year but she didn’t show
a little interest in me. I felt like dying every day but she never cared.
Then one day I woke up and thought,
‘nobody cares for a loser in this world and I don’t wanna die like a loser with
the whole world spitting on me. I gotta do something and teach this girl a
great lesson.’ I wanted to make her feel the pain of love and for that she
needed to be in love first. I tried different methods to make her fall in love
but all of them failed. I made the most handsome guy in my college to propose
her but still she showed no interest. Then I contacted one of her friend,
Priyanka, who finally offered to help. She told me the reason Radhika never
gave any boy a chance was because she believed that love starts from feelings
and she had seen no real feelings in anybody till then. So I needed a real
lover who understood her feelings. I couldn’t get back in her life because I
was already in her cross list. Priyanka helped me to know everything about
Radhika and the only place where I could find a loser seeking for love was on internet.
It was me who chatted with you on the internet using the name Radhika. Remember
my first question, “Are u Indian?” It was to catch some Indian fish in my net.
Remember why Radhika or rather I became upset when you were trying to be some
fake stud? It was because I needed a true lover and not a stud. Do you know why
I didn’t give you any email id or contact number before disconnecting? It was because
I hadn’t created any till then in the name of Radhika. I didn’t respond for
another two and half months after disconnecting because I wanted to make it
complete real and I wanted to check if you are really desperate for the girl
you chatted. Fortunately, you were the perfect guy I was in search of. Then I made
two fake email ids, one in the name of Radhika and another in the name of
yours. Priyanka helped me again by tempting Radhika to add the fake id, which I
created in the name of yours’, in her contact list. And I replied to you with
the id I created with Radhika’s name. Thus began the two way conversation which
was completely controlled by me. Whatever you mailed, I forwarded to Radhika
with another id and vice-versa.
Luckily, Radhika also liked your
thoughts and feelings which made my work quite easy. When conversation between
you two came to exchanging phone numbers, I had to buy two mobile phones with
different phone numbers. I chose the same strategy in numbers too like the
email ids. One number I gave to you and other to Radhika. Whatever you texted,
I forwarded Radhika with another number and vice versa. Do you remember the
first time you had called and nobody picked up and later there had been a
reply, ‘I am sorry; I can’t talk to you all the time. I live with my parents. I
will text you when I am free.’? It was because I had no plans how I would make
both of you talk together, but then whenever you called on one number, I called
her back with another number and then patched both of you. Mostly, I made both
of you talk at night because it was noise free and there was always a delay in
your call being received because patching calls took some time.
I have always been the mastermind of
your love story. When both of you planned to meet, I set up a trap to call you
in Pune and at the same time I chose to send her somewhere else which I am never
gonna tell you. But now I am relieved because all my pains have well been revenged.
She will keep on waiting for you today but you will never turn up and later she
will find that she is not able to contact you forever. She will feel the real
pain then. I feel so great now, I feel like ruling this world.”
“That is the bitterest truth I have
ever heard in my life,” said I almost crying.
“But I have few things to ask and
say.”
“I knew it already and of course you
deserve to say many things after going through all these.”
“Why me? It pained you a lot when you
were wronged in your love, then why did you choose to wrong someone else like
you?”
“You are nowhere like me, man. I loved
Radhika but she never loved me back but Radhika loved you. Anyone would have
deserved the same whom Radhika
loved.”
“And why did Priyanka help you in all
these when she was herself a friend of Radhika?”
“She was definitely a good friend of
Radhika then but she is my girlfriend now.”
“I must agree you are a real planner.
I couldn’t have done myself better. But you know what, you never really loved
her. I can’t even dream of taking revenge from the person I love. How dare you
even think of giving her some pain? All this time I loved her and she was real
to me. I may appear a loser to you because I came here so long and you made my
love vanish in a moment but you know what, I don’t regret nothing. Who asks for
one time, man? I can do a million journeys in the search of my love. And my
love story is not finished yet, it will finish when I will think it is
finished. No matter what, I will get her back.”
“You are just acting like a frustrated lover. Everything
is finished. Pack your bag, go back home and cry to your momma. I gotta go. See
you in another world.”
10 Hours Later Somewhere In Mumbai………
They say, “The luckiest man in this
world is the one who is loved by the woman he loves.” A series of chaotic
events had made me one of them. I was there standing somewhere in financial
capital of India with my love in my arms and few blocks away was unnamed villain
watching us like a loser. It all happened something like this:
Sourabh had gone leaving me clueless and
lonely in some random strange city of world. I felt as if I had just had some
kinda nervous breakdown. A mixed feeling of despair, frustration, anger, guilt
and hatred were running through my nerves. I wished I had never met Sourabh, I
wished Radhika had come to meet me at our decided place; I wished none of those
things had ever happened. I was not ready to accept that bitter truth that the
best moments of my life were just useless and all those time I was just on the
hook. I was not ready to give up; I wanted to change my fate. I wanted to prove
my love before I was back to my retarded life again. I could clearly see two
distinct ways in front of me. One, which every normal human could have done, to
pack my bag and be back to Bangalore like a loser. But I decided to choose the
other path and it was to use my brain as a computer to change my destiny.
The only biggest problem was I didn’t
know where to start. I had no contacts with Radhika; I didn’t know where she
lived or where she was at that point of time. I kept on thinking and thinking
and then remembered Sourabh mentioning Law College that he used to go with
Radhika. I googled about ILS, Pune and got the contact numbers soon. I didn’t
waste a second to call. A lady on the other side received.
“This is Indian Law Society, Pune. How
may I assist you?”
“Yeah, I am speaking from Kale and
Shinde Associates. A student of
yours had applied for internship in our firm and her resume is selected.
Unfortunately,
I am unable to contact her right now. Can you do anything to help as her
internship starts tomorrow?”
“I will
transfer your call to our database. They will do all they can to help you. Hold
on for a sec.”
My brain was
working and I was just praying my whole plan to work. A few beeps later the
call was connected.
“This is
data base of ILS. Which student are you looking for?”
“Radhika
Biswas, a third year student.”
“Hang on…
Yes, note down her address and contact number. She belongs to 1477/58 SHUKRAWAR PETH PUNE – 02
and you can contact her at 25431015.”
“This is what I was
looking for. It will help a lot.”
“Anything else I can help
you with?”
“No, I got what I needed.
Thanks a lot for the help.”
“You are welcome.”
“Wait, don’t hang up. I
see another student of your college has also applied for the same internship.
Can you put a check on Sourabh Bhardwaj?”
“Sure. Address is 891
ELPHINSTANCE ROAD PUNE and you can contact him at 25813677.”
“That’s it. I won’t bother
you more. Thanks again.”
My first milestone was
completed and the next thing I did was to call Radhika’s home (but now I wish I
had not called).
“Hello?” answered a lady
in deep voice.
“Hello, Auntie. May I
speak to Radhika, please?”
“Who is this and what have
you called for?”
“Auntie, I am Suraj, a
friend of Radhika’s. I had to ask her the final submission date of Assignments.”
I tried to be as decent as I could.
“I know very well the
loafers like you. You only need to get a girl’s number and then you start
taking full advantage of it. Don’t even think of trying this on my daughter.
Nuisances like you don’t even think before lying. Don’t you know there are no
assignments in summer vacation? Radhika has gone to Mumbai. Don’t try to call
again.”
Oops, a major mistake but
thanks to the old brain, she did tell me where Radhika was at that point of
time. Sourabh had made a great plan of calling me at Pune and at the same time
sending Radhika to Mumbai. He wanted to make both of us to suffer. Then I knew
where she was but I had no clue how to contact her there. My next target was to
get her mobile number from her home. I couldn’t do it myself so I needed
someone else to do this job. I was thinking hard on this when I saw my hotel
receptionist and something strange clicked in my mind. I went straight to her.
“Hi… You may find it quite
absurd but still I wanna ask you something.”
“I am here only to help. In
what way may I assist you, Sir?” The lady seemed unsurprised till then but I
was certain my next question would blow her mind.
“How much do you earn
daily by sitting here whole day long?”
“Sure it’s an absurd
question. I am here to help you in your stay, Sir. I am not here to deal with
this kind of questions.”
“Firstly I wanna make clear
I am not hitting on you. I just need your help. Believe me and answer my question.”
“It’s none of your
business but still I make thousand bucks a day by sitting here whole day long.”
“I will give you five
thousand if you help me for few hours. Trust me, my reasons are not wrong. Just
hear them for once.”
“Okay, try me.”
It took me two hours to
explain her whole thing. She found it reasonable to help me but demanded money
first. She took an excuse to skip her work that day. I made her to call
Radhika’s home to get her mobile number. I don’t know whether it was for five
thousand bucks or she was born actor but she played it perfectly like a pro.
She called as Radhika’s best friend and was easily successful in getting her
number. I had Radhika’s number but I wanted to keep everything surprise for
her, so I told her to call at Radhika’s to know her whereabouts.
She dialed and said, “Hi,
Radhika. You don’t know me but I know you well. I know you must be highly
disappointed for whatever is happening to you today but believe me ‘Everything
happens for a reason’. I need you to tell me where exactly you are in Mumbai
now?”
“I already
had enough jokes of my life today. Please don’t puzzle me anymore. I don’t know
what do you want from me but I have been waiting whole day at High Street
Phoenix.”
“Just wait
for few more hours and you will meet your destiny for sure. Bye.”
“Your love story is going to have a
happy ending, Suraj Kashyap. You are not gonna end like a loser. Congrats. I
think my work is all done.” She said to me.
“Not yet, Miss…. Ummm... Whatever your
name may be but you gotta make some more phone calls.” She looked puzzled so I
continued, “Don’t you think we need to clear the debts of Sourabh Bhardwaj too?
I need you to call him as Radhika. Tell him that you are extremely sorry that
you didn’t believe in his love and that’s why fate has made you suffer for that.
Some boy gave you the wrong promise of love, called you in Mumbai and never
turned up. Say him that you wanna redeem all your faults now and call him in
three hours at other entrance of High Street Phoenix. He will believe your lies
without a doubt. Leave rest of the things on me.”
She did exactly what I told her to do
and left wishing me best of luck. I didn’t waste another thought in reaching High
Street Phoenix. After scanning thrice the crowd, I was able to detect the most
beautiful and saddest girl in that place.
“You shouldn’t be this sad. Someone
may die seeing you not smile.” I went and told to her.
She hugged me tightly and said, “I
knew you would come. I wasn’t just ready to accept that all those moments were
not true.” She was feeling exactly the same way as me. I had to propose her
next but I had one more unfinished business to do before that. I called
Sourabh. He was surprised hearing me but I told him to walk 30 meters straight
and then turn left. Then I proposed Radhika on my knees. Of course the answer
was a huge yes and we kissed. Not to mention Sourabh was watching all this from
few meters away. True love always REIGNS.
MORAL:-
- Don’t try Cyber-Love because not everyone is as intelligent and lucky as Suraj Kashyap.
- Don’t mess with engineers; they are the smartest persons on this planet.
A Thorny Way To Heaven
Life: As we live it
Together Forever : An Untold Love Story
A walk through the dreams
3 Bullets
Hide And Seek
Love Wars
Ghost-Hunt
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